Yin's NeverLand

Lies.

2007-10-01T17:10:00.000+09:30

Lies.

The world work like this. No ppl will ever admit they've done something wrong. They will always find a so-called reason (excuse?) to cover up. Saying sorry is worse than asking them go die. This is very much applicable to ask them to tell the truth.

The beauty of Lies is it can not hurting at all and makes ppl want drown in it more and more. However, once the real ugly fact discloses, those words ppl hold strong belief in will turn ppl into an idiot immediately. Yes, I said Idiot.

The story goes like this...

He told me he is trying to forget her. He miss me. I'm the only one on his mind now. If she don't trigger his feelings, he won't think of her or miss her. He told me I'm not a substitute of her. He never took me lightly.
I knew he was tight with money in game, if I'm gonna directly lend him money, he might not accept. So I asked him to do my zakum helmet quest for me and to charge me at market rate.
On his birthday, he went out with frens to celebrate. When he was home, he told me that from that day onwards, he will set his priority right.
He was sick on one thursday and didn't go to school asked me not to worry about he. He is gonna start being busy in school work.

The story ended like this...

On his birthday, he went dating with her, and, he might be hugging the girl he likes alot and sms me.
He didn't rest on thursday or might have rested awhile, I don't know. In fact, he trained a lv50 character with that girl he likes alot in 3 days. On the 3rd day, he completed the zakum helmet quest for her. Mine? After near 2 months, Nope. He didn't even realise I've changed my account password.
Few days later, he is officially with the girl he likes alot now. Grats.
Money I paid to him before? I don't expect to get it back le. What I've given to he, he can never pay me back.

More to come...

A guy who is after me now, is his friend, completed the quest for me.

That girl he likes alot and with now, actually offer to the guy who is after me now, he can huggs and kiss her if he want when they go out.

Oh ya. I was defeated by that girl. No. I should say there was not a battlefield at all. So without fighting, I've already lost.

So let me ask this, do I look like an idiot to you or am I actually an idiot to you?

You should be speechless. So I shall continue...

If you have decided to leave, at least tell me that you're gone, if I'm that important to you like you've said to me before.

Lastly, if ppl ever want to lie to me, at least, don't let me find out the truth forever.

Ex-Bf Attack.

2007-08-14T21:55:00.000+09:30

Ex-Bf Attack.

One day when I woke up feeling not too good and not too bad. I opened my window, took a deep breathe, brushed myself up and cook a nice breakfast for a start. Everything seems just nice.

Is that really good?

I don't know understand, as usual, again. Does it really bother you, my dear ex-bf, whether I'm good or bad or just nice, after when you have chose to vanish from my life in the past?

I completely agree with the phrase that Girls tend to forgive rather than forget. I forgive you for hurting me in the past, but, I cannot forget you. That's because I don't want to deny that I do have a period of happy times with you. So please stay good in my precious memory and do not turn bad?

Hey, mY ex-bf, if you are leading a great life now and having a great gf with you, you really should not think of me again. When you do, you hurt me again. That's because when I thought I'm nearer to forget that pain, you appears again. I could not help but to miss you again.

Yes, I'm smiling in all the photo that I put in and I look happy. If that makes you feel better.

Winner.

2007-06-06T22:02:00.000+09:30

Winner.

Meat leg, this is a post specially dedicated to you. Huggs. Jia yOus ok? <33

Once upon a time, there was a very grand running competition held. In this competition, there is only ONE winner, and the winner will get the most beautiful prize in the world that everybody will want it. Lots and lots of people from different part of the world rushed into taking part in the competition for the prize, disregarding that the competition is full of danger - most of people from the past that took part in the competition died during the competition.

The competition has started. It's a long journey ahead...

All of the participants first have to run through a very long, straight and tight long pathway. 25% of the participants were down as runners were all squeezing their way through, by stepping on participants to be the first. All that they have in their mind is the prize.

Follow on, runners have to go through an area where the sunlight is strong and full of mists. Runners could only continue running depend on their senses of direction as they have to protect their eyes by shutting them. In this area, another 25% of the participants were down, as they could not find their way through.

The journey continues... Days passed...

The leftover participants entered a jungle and they had to cross the jungle to reach the next destination. In this jungle, wild animals, such as snakes, tiger, bear etc., that can take your life within a second were running anywhere, unawared. Runners have to find their own food to keep them from running. 30% of the participants were either been eaten or killed by wild animals. 5% of the participants lost their way.

Now only 15% of the participants were left. They managed to cross the jungle and reach a swamp. In this swamp, crocodiles were the king. Run and prize blinded all the runners mind. Sadly, at the end of the swamp, only 10 people were left in the competition.

The 10 people continued to run. In the new stage, they were needed to run in an long long arc. Tiring, but for the prize, they ran.

Next destination - plateau. That is where the winner will stand up and receive their prize.

Finally......

Winner is up!!!

Do you know who is the winner?

Meat leg, the winner is you and you have received the prize. Know what is that?

To be born in this world. Isn't that a great prize?

I've just gave you a lesson on how sperm reaches egg =x Song bo?

Jia yOus in exam ba!! huggs. You were the winner before. I believe you sure can make it one!!

Category.

2007-05-19T19:58:00.000+09:30

Category.

Once heard ppl say this to me, guys put girls into 3 categories: ex-girlfriend (good friend?), potential girlfriend (woo, big breast girls pls) and girlfriend.

Let me reply to this. Girls put guys into 7 categories: ex-boyfriend (sex buddy/potential bf when my new bf dump me), potential boyfriend (practically all the good-looking guys i come across), boyfriend, father, brother (you can never be my bf, but pls treat me eat dinner still), friend (i don't have to act cute act shy in front of you right? you saw me drool when sleep be4), rubbish (stop contacting me!).

IMPORTANT NOTES: Those brackets are some craps i added to make the topic more interesting lOls.

Alot of things happen recently. I'm out of words. No matter how good a person appears to be, they can be very cruel too. They can be so cheap till do all sorts of thing just to revenge.

Then this question came into my mind - " If 2 person are tied by Lust, could it be Love? "

Then the answer came. No. It's a desire.

You only wants it and when ppl is fighting over the same thing with you. Winning is the key.

This isn't Love.

Art of Bastard.

2007-03-11T19:08:00.000+10:30

Art of Bastard.

I'm back in Australia again. Posting blog entry in Singapore is totally not very much possible. Attachment in Alexandra Hospital has been tiring and fun. Haa ~ heard alot stories when I was back in Singapore. Come to surprise, I have changed alot, or maybe, I should say, people around me never really change? I am not sure. Met some new people, but, was not able to meet everyone I wanted to. I also bumped into alot people on street.

The feeling is weird.
Anyway....

Is being bastard a gifted capability of everyone since birth?

To all my dearest girls,

Boys can say anything for getting you to bed. Words doesn't cost any money.
Please do not have that horrbile thinking that the boy will turn out to what different from what you see, hoping that he will turn into that person you have hoped him to be someday.
Saying I love you, doesn't cost money also do not let the boy have a responsibility to take care of you. After bed, he probably will forget your name babe.

Girls, you all should know it, why letting yourself fall into the dark and cry, when you actually can turn back and walk to the lights? Friends' words cannot help you much, you have to willing to wake up yourself.

Boys' Love comes in percentages. 99.99% for the girl he really love and can die for, and 0.01% for the girl who likes him, treat him good, and never want to be with her, when he is in love with that girl he willing to die for.

He is looking for what he lacked from the girl he willing to die for from you. He can always say he really love that girl, but next moment sleep with you.
Girl, you know what? It's not because of Love. He needs console, and just nice you are there being nice to he. It's not your problem if he met wrong girl because, he can always stop being together with that girl and continue to feel miserable.

Please treasure yourself and protect yourself. Nobody can snatch you from you.
You worth the world greatest Love.

To all my dearest boys,

Girls can love 2 boys at the same time and not knowing what exactly she wants. She will always tends to want both to stay together by her side. In fact, nobody will never want a person that treat him/her well not by their side. Girls like people to pay for their everything.

Girls will always go back to their ex bf or people that used to treat her good, when her new relationship don't work out, or met wrong new guys. However, girls never want to be together with their ex bf and people used to treat her good. They only need people to give her concern that she wanted until she find the next new better guy.

If girl sleep with you again, does not mean she still love you, it's because, sleeping with you again does not increase the number of guy she slept with before, as she already slept with you in the past. A stolen moment for her to feel not lonely.

I am not willing, but still, I have to admit, I am a Bastard too.

It's ironical. Can it be plausible?
I am trying very hard to convice or rather confuse myself, I should be doing this, and not let the guilty feeling haunt me. I am not sure when I will have enough courage to face it or maybe I will never have. It's never right or wrong from the beginning.

To that person in mY heart,

I am hurt too.
I really love you and want you to stay happy always, but, I will be the person who make you sad in the future. I try all my best to protect you, but, I will be the person who break your heart eventually. You know?
You should really keep a distance from me perhaps, but, I am selfish, I could not let you go.
If your happiness is mY treasure, I cannot do it.
I cannot say I'm sorry. I also cannot ask you to forgive me.
I let you go...

Mustafa Shock.

2007-01-02T16:22:00.000+10:30

Mustafa Shock.

Finally got that energy to write blog again. Lol. Since I am back in SG, everything has been upside down. I cannot believe this. I spent all my holidays being sick =(

I don't really enjoy going out to celebrate festival eve. Crowds horrify me. Just to think of squeezing my way through people, and get physically close to unknown, I rather stay at home, on my fan, sing song loud loud inside my room.

((My mother said I sound like some Middle-age Crisis woman.))

Talking back about my christmas eve, I was with JJ again. This is the 3rd year le. Snowy still so active and cute (his dog). I must say, JJ is really devoted in cooking. Lol. I love it when I don't have to cook much and get to eat nice food.

On christmas day itself, JJ brought me to Mustafa coz I need a new luggage bag. God! It was the most horrible thing to do. Crowds and air are killing me straight. I felt I walk like a snail, people touches me, I goes into my shell. Lol.

Anyway, I want to talk about the Mustafa Toilet.

Firstly, boys and girls toilet are not located at the same floor.
I spent about 10 minutes, I found the boys toilet.
I spent another 5 minutes squeezing my way through humans, then I found the girls toilet.
To the shock of my life, when I walked out of the toilet cubicle, the person who was using the cubicle beside me, is a MAN. Yes, BOY.
He smiled to me.

At first, I thought I've entered the wrong toilet. Then I went out to check the sign. I was so sure that I was in the girls toilet.

Hmmm. What's the whole point of me squeezing my way so hardly to get a girls toilet while I could walk into the guys one?

Eeeks.

Irritations.

2006-11-28T02:13:00.000+10:30

Irritations.

I am back in Singapore.

I've put 'Home Sweet Home' and a SG phone number as a display nick in msn, isn't that obvious I am in Singapore? So, kindly stop msg me and ask me 'Hey, are you in Singapore?' Replying 1 or 2 people is fine, but replying more than 50 people, is a trouble.

So for ppl so have small eyes and no brain, I have finally come to a conclusion of changing my display nick to 'Yes, I am back in Singapore.'

I am VERY BUSY settling down.

I will share with you my schedule.

25th Nov, Sat - Reached SG at night. Went eat dinner then go home sleep.

26th Nov, Sun - 6am I received a call from a friend that I haven't seen for 2 yrs and gotta know that he happens to be in SG for winter vacation and he is flying back to USA at night. So, in the noon, I met my relatives and have lunch. Evening time I was in Changi Airport again. Night I went to my ex-workplace and eat dinner since I am already downtown.

27th Nov, Mon - I was suppose to be in Malaysia settling my Bank Account stuff, but I could not crawl out of my house. Finally today, I got to eat dinner at my house with my mother.

28th Nov, Tues - This is the day I MUST crawl out of my house to Malaysia. Night time I've got to meet my best friend of my life - Jason.

29th Nov, Wed - I have to buy my air ticket to go back to Australia. Airport tax is rising as each day passes. I need to do my hair cut. I've got more than 10 months nv cut my hair.

30th Nov, Thurs - Can I rest at home today? I am sick but I don't even have a pair of shoes in Singapore except high heels.

2nd Dec, Sat - I want to go back to NYP to take a look at the Band. Music was used to be my life for past 20 years. Night time I am having a dinner appointment which I have arranged 2 months before hand.

4th Dec, Mon - I have to get my ass down to Alexandra Hospital Clinical Laboratory and start my attachment for my next 2 months.

I am ULTRA TIRED.

Hey guys, I didn't even got time to sleep and unpack my luggage, what makes you think that I should go out with you first instead of accompanying my family to eat a meal?

I am sick I am sick I am sick.

Phone Calls Endlessly.

I would like phone calls, but now, I only feel like getting my phone off Permanently till I've settled down.

Getting more than 30 phone calls a day from 20+ people, trust me, you won't like it. I've repeated the same conversation from this morning 9am to 9pm for 20 times+.

Don't ever come and ask me why I never call you, because, I don't even have time to shit now. I am so amazed that my phone is quiet for more than 15minutes now!

Due to phone call congestion, I've removed the number from msn display nick.

Conclusion.

I will contact you slowly when I get all those important things done.

Can I have some time to shit now?

I am happy that I am back in Singapore but mY life sucks now?

1hr pay rate?

2006-10-03T13:53:00.000+09:30

1hr pay rate?

WARNING: This post is not suitable for reader that is under 18 years old. Read at your own risk.

I went to school today to return my library book. I was waiting for bus at the bus stop, then, suddenly this uncle approached me.

Uncle - "Hey! You've got a nice boob."

Yin - "Huh?!"

Uncle - "They are big huh. Can I touch and feel it?"

Yin - "No."

Uncle - "How much do I have to pay for playing your boobs 1hr?"

Yin - "..."

Uncle - "50 bucks?"

Yin - "... ..."

Inside my mind, I have been thinking of tonnes of words to scold that uncle. However, I didn't manage to find any. In this short 20 seconds, I practised all the scenes below.

Scene Number 1
Yin - "Fuck you!"

Uncle - "Oh yeah babe, Fuck me please!"

Comments: SUPER WRONG phrase to be used!

Scene Number 2
Yin - "Suck it!"

Uncle - "Oh yeah baby, Suck my cock."

Comments: Very WRONG phrase to be used too.

Scene Number 3
Yin - "Screw you!"

Uncle - "I would love you screw you hard too baby."

Comments: NO definately.

Scene Number 4
Yin - "You Bastard!"

Uncle - "Girls just love screwing by Bastard. Let me go on top of your body."

Comments: ...

Scene Number 5
Yin - "Go and Die!"

Uncle - "Let me Fuck and you will be in heaven."

Comments: I don't want to think anymore.

Wanna to know my pay rate? Uncle, I tell you.
I flirt with who I want, sleep with who I want, for FREE. YES! FREE!
You are not even fit to come into my eyesight.
Oh ya! Get your front tooth fix please, Uncle.

Diary Diary.

2006-10-01T22:04:00.000+09:30

Diary Diary.

Long time never blog. So I think I should squeeze something out. Haha.

It's weird. This is 1st time in my life I encounter such thingy. All my ex bf de relatives are consoling me after break up.

Korkor say I still can call him korkor. Shock of my life. I actually thought we would never talk again. He always gave me this 'fierce and scary' idea. When I start dating his younger brother, he questioned me like criminal =x

I stopped writing my diary le. Nothing much in my mind recently also no precious memory that I wanna to keep and scare forget. I figured out I shouldn’t be feeling not happy anymore. If decided le, then do it right?

Jem says, I fail in r/s is because I trust my boyfriend too much. I should be jealous if my bf go out with other girl. Besides, I shouldn't ask/care/think about my ex bf or ex friend anymore.

My real life diary was the present I wanna to give Tau when we together 100th day de, but, we didn't last that long. This is a post where I return all feelings. Goodbye, my life.

24th May 2006 Wednesday
"I maybe happier if I've got you" - That was the phrase that I decided to start a serious r/s with you.

29th May 2006 Monday
The feeling of happiness will spread. You told me he treasures me abit more than how he did in the past.
You know what? I don’t need our love to be very thick, just one step at a time, slowly.

31st May 2006 Wednesday
My heart beat increased. I never thought that Yun would do this. More surprisingly, you believe in me. You didn’t even ask me about it and all you did was protecting me. Just like you’ve promised – Never let me got hurt.
I only wanna to hold your hand and not others.

4th June 2006 Sunday
You said that we could. When you are whining, you sound extremely cute. You've told me not to be scared.

6th June 2006 Tuesday
I'm sorry that I can't do anything for you nor even by your side. I saw you being tired and frustrated, and yet, I couldn't even be by your side.
You said you felt the sweetness of me being there. I am really happy of the facts that I'm your girl.

14th June 2006 Wednesday
My way of love for you is more and more each day. You are getting more important to me. I’ve had a dream. When I off from school, you were standing right there, waiting for me. It was raining. You opened your arms and covered me with your jacket, protecting me from rain. Then when I was using towel to clean your face, you smiled. I kissed you, and you pinched my cheek.
Then I woke up, I saw your sms. Sweet.
I love you. That boy who will protect me with all he can and singing lullaby for me in the coffee shop.

16th June 2006 Friday
You sounded tired. I hope you are not giving yourself too much stress. I feel like hiding you up and not letting others see how good you are. You called me Mrs. Goh. Everytime when I'm low in self-esteem, you always give me faith. Thanks.

22nd June 2006 Thursday
You told me that when I was having my exam and went missing in action, you started to miss me. I am a little bit tired today, and you are right there again. Thanks for being me energy.
Do you know that? I am really happy that you are my boy and I'm your girl. From long long time ago, you have been my support whenever I'm down. When I'm happy, you are there too to share my joyful moment.
Seriously, I wish to do something for you too. Be that girlfriend of you that will make you feel proud.
I just could not put my feelings into words when we talk about our future. You pictured your future with me inside.

23rd June 2006 Friday
I've had a nightmare. You are back to Ling girl.
She said that my love for you are not mature at all. You were just beside her looking at me speechlessly. I smiled and walked away.
I woke up leaving that uneasy feeling inside me.

27th June 2006 Tuesday
Your desktop were spoilt. I could not talk to you at all. Feeling a little bit weird, I don’t like this feeling, as if something bad is gonna to happen.
Then I realized, I've fallen hopelessly deep in love with you. For that, I am super insecured.

30th June 2006 Friday
You said that I'm silly. That kind of dream will never happen. You will be just with me. You sounded a bit nervous when explaining to me. Just like how I am. You are insecured too, and you didn't want me to misunderstand or think too much.
Don't save me please. I'm drowned in your sweetness.

11th July 2006 Tuesday
I was hugged by a stranger today, then I realized that you will jealous too if other guy lay a finger on me.
Somebody is missing me when I was on holiday and didn’t talk to him much. I miss you too.

17th July 2006 Monday
You told me that your sir said that for those people who have girlfriend in the bunk, must treasure their girl.
You said that you will treasure me, and I must treasure you as much too. If I really want to walk till the end with you, WE have to work harder. I love that word – we.

30th July 2006 Sunday
You told me that you went out with a girl yesterday night. Thanks for being honest with me. I'm not afraid that you will be snatched away by other girl but I really don’t like it when other girls notice your sweetness.

3rd August 2006 Thursday
You told me that you are down today. Suddenly you miss Ling ger. There was one moment I thought you were gonna to break up with me. My breathe stopped a second.
I'm still your girl right?

6th August 2006 Sunday
Maybe what I really need is that 10 seconds in your 10 minutes.
Is that person really just your long lost friend or is she Ling ger? I'm not sure. I was put on hold on call for 10+ minutes and you didn't come back. I put down the phone and you sms me only when after 25 minutes.
Should I not think?

7th August 2006 Monday
Will you be back? You asked me to give you some time to come back to yourself. What I could offer is 100% freedom to choose what you really want, not giving you pressure or making you feeling guilty.
I just hope you will be honest and frank with me what you've choose. That's the minimum hurt to me.

10th August 2006 Thursday
You told me that we are fine.
Finally, I cried today. It’s not because I found out that you still love Ling ger. It was when you are using that ultimate tired voice to tell me that it was all your fault and you’re sorry.

13th August 2006 Sunday
Seriously, I don't like you to help Ling ger up and chasing her suitors away. I also don't like you going to your new workplace and see Ling ger.
But, I lost my voice because you sounded happy.

14th August 2006 Monday
I've told you that I'm getting busy with my school work. I lied. So I could tell myself, if we are not talking, is because I'm busy.
Walking on the street, suddenly, I lost all my energy, I squatted down. Took a deep breathe. Then I look up to the sky. I don' know.
Then I stand up again. How long more I can cheat myself?

20th August 2006 Sunday
I really wish to be an idiot so that I won't know that you and Ling ger are back together. Can I?
You could not ask for a break up eventhough you've already make that choice in your heart. That is what hurt me the most.
You asked me to be your friend but I refused. Isn’t that a little bit cruel? I am sacrificed for you and her happiness isn’t? I don't think I should feel happy about it.
Goodbye Tau.

Ended.
You must be quite free to read up till here. Lol. Kinda long and boring post. Sorry =x

Girls Talk?

2006-09-27T13:53:00.000+09:30

Girls Talk?

Sometimes I don't understand, why would a girl that I don't even know or heard of wanna to talk to me regarding to their boyfriend or the guy they like?

The decision make in the end is not me, is the guy right? So what's the use of talking to me? As if I got black magic can make the guy go to her. If I do, I will make the guy come to me babe. Wake up wake up!

I guess I should just post these up let you all have a laugh. They made Girl sounds and looks ugly.

Case 1: This is the first time I've encounter this kind of thing and I actually silly until I believe her. Then I learnt my lesson and became a Pro in dealing this type of girls.

That happens in the era when I still like Jem. There was this girl called Candii. I don't really remember what she told me exactly. But, it's kinda like Jem told her that he likes her and that she have got a bf that time. She wants to give me the idea that Jem like to snatch ppl's gf and when you are single, he don't want you anymore.

The more stupid thing is she sounded so real that I believe in her and quarrel with Jem. Haa.

((Oh Jem, I'm sorry that I let you got involved in my blog again =x))

Case 2: I still keep the email. It's kinda funny. When I'm down I always go take a look at the email then I will laugh. I would just paste the whole email. Her name is yao.

Title: who am i? and who r u? dare?

Yao - "i think u know who am i..i also no need explain too much to u and i tell u..dun always call my bf as sweetie..he not ur dear.. dun think he always ask u got miss him or not ..tis just a game ..also just a KIDDING to u u wan him? u wait ...wait till u old ..he also won accept u.. all sg gal like that ? if to day u saw my msg then feel angry or buay song ..come find me .. dun say my bf play u...still kids? if can meet u in real life ..i think more fun..izzit ..HO LU SI..noe wat mean? at here i nothing to talk to Rubbish .. i think..chat in msn more fun..now u just a SMALL rubbish thing in my eyes ...waste my time to write bull shit email to rubbish .."

Me - "haha !"

Yao - "ha ni ma lao lan jiao...haha?? tis haha just 4 u bitch..."

My bottomline comments are:
She didn't do research properly before scolding me.

Firstly, I am a Malaysian, if she wanna to insult me on country basis, she insults herself too?

Secondly, She thinks she is that important in my heart that she can make me feel angry.

Thirdly, I don't understand hokkien.

Lastly, She actually spend her time writing bull-shit and email to rubbish. Quite special hobby.

But, I actually think she is the girl I like the most in all these cases. She is not happy about me, she come straight to me and scold me. Not like the others, want scold don't dare to scold. Woots!

Case 3: This happen when I trying to woo Drak as my maplestory dear. There is this girl call LittleShy (Lvl 88 Priest) also likes him.

Shy - "You like drak?"

Yin - "Ya, I like drak."

Moment of speechless. She didn't expect I answer directly.

Yin - "Who are you?"

Shy - "I'm drak's gf."

Shy - "He is a good guy."

Yin - "Yes I know he is a good guy."

Shy - "Nvm, I give up. If you like drak, drak give you."

Yin - "The thing is the choice is on drak's hand, not me"

Yin - "If he don't want me is not what I can decide."

((I am kinda angry. Drak is precious to me and she made is as though drak is rubbish can throw here throw there.))

Shy goes away then came back again.

Shy - "What we talk about is between us. I hope you don't tell drak."

((No worries girl. Drak online seldomly. If I've got them to spend with him in game, why would I want him to even think about you when he is with me? I know I'm not clever but I'm not stupid as well. Thank you.))

Yin - "Anyway, girl, I believe in whatever drak told me."

((Drak said that he don't have a gf before.))

Shy - "What he tell you?"

Yin - "Girl, what me and drak talk about, is my precious memory and I don't think I'll share it with you."

Shy goes again and next day come to me and drak when we were training together. He was at bottom and I am at top. When she walked into the map she saw me and walk out of the map. Lol?

Another thing is she actually told drak about it herself. Lol?

Case 4: The girl is Yeochelin (Lvl 90 Mage), an ex-wife of my current maplestory hubby, AintTooGood.

YCL - "Congrat on marriage."

Yin - "Thanks."

YCL - "But he is a guy that could fall easily for other girls, be careful."

Yin - "It's ok."

Yin - "I may not be his first or last girl in his life"

Yin - "But, at least, I am with him now."

YCL goes away.

((Girl, You are an ex of his. Face it?))

Guosheng said I'm kinda like evil. But, I swear I sound polite in all cases. Maybe I should sound bad. If ever these girls come to me again, I would just say "Sorry, I don't talk to Noob."

Wahahaha! Now, that's evil. Drak say I hao lian. Yes, hao lian while I can. xD

I'm a lvl 116 Axe Fighter. Oh yeah?

By the way, only girl that are jealous will find another girl talk. I've got enough confident in myself that the guy will choose me. It's not my fault being too good, cute and sweet. I know is a sin. But, I can't do anything about it, Girls.

Revenge.

2006-09-01T23:50:00.000+09:30

Revenge.

Been having crazy thinkings these few days. I'm loving it. Lol.

How to Revenge an unfaithful boyfriend?

Kill he? No way. What so frightening about death? I want him want die cannot die. Slowly torture him. Wahahaha!

Firstly: Become his boss. Bully him at work.

Secondly: Drive a Ferrari to his house, and say "Aiya, why you still driving BMW? That one is for mY maid to drive one leh. It's time to change car."
(Mei, sounds familiar? hahaha!)

Thirdly: Woo his brother.

Fourthly: Lure his best friend. Let the brother and best friend fight.

Fifthly: Wanna to get his father as well?

Sixthly: Be his wife best friend.

Lastly: Wait he got child, pamper his child and let his child like me more than him.

I'm out of my mind. I know. But, I'm happy. At least this scene in my mind makes me lmao. Hahaha! Let me think of more...

Love Degree

2006-08-26T10:31:00.000+09:30

Love Degree.

Been talking to a friend yesterday. He is like one of the guy I date for a less than a month, both like each other, but break up becoz of some reasons. He is kinda rich and outgoing type of guy, but, I'm poor and homely. So pls use ur imagination why we break up thank yoU.

He told me that he loves this girl alot and she is the one he wanna to marry for sure. My reaction was like 'Ooh Grats!'. But, next, he told me that 'I can still date you no worry'. (Of coz this is the much more refine version. Pls use ur imagination again. If not ask me, I will tell you personally.)

Do Love have got a degree?

Grade 1: Love until can die for that person, won't even have the space to squeeze a sand into their eyes.

Grade 2: Love, more like treasure alot kind.

Grade 3: Generally Love, but still, will look up for better ones.

Grade 4: Love, but, can live w/o one.

Grade 5: Love, but, still can goes round dating other ppls.

Grade 6: Love ok, just for companionship.

Then I realised, when I'm judging ppl. Ppl are constantly judging me as well. What degree have I gave and what degree ppl have gave me?

How much Love is call Love alot? Will it be only limited to Grade 1 and/or Grade 6 is love alot as well?

Does this means that, wives/husbands should never get unhappy if their husbands/wives, have got another one outside, because human won't be satisfy by just one?

Maybe I should clarify myself. I can separate Love and Sex, but, when I love a guy, I won't take the sex part; when I take the sex part, I won't love that guy. That is to say, if my bf loves me, I don't mind he having sex with other girl when I'm not around with him, but if I'm around, the best is not, and of course, not bringing any Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD) back to me. The thing I cannot accept is he loves another girl as well.

The world is weird and I'm weird...

Break up.

2006-08-21T09:00:00.000+09:30

Break up.

You probably noticed it.
Yeah. I break up with my bf le. Although I voiced it out, but rather, I was being left behind.

Nope. The phrase I need the least now is 'Don't think too much'.

I wanna to think. Think all finish and stop thinking abt it again.

I believe everybody will choose thing that are better for sure. So in comparison, I lose.

I said I don't wanna be his friend. I don't want to lie to myself saying that It's alright for me to see him and her happily ever after. I also won't curse them to break up.

I am hurt. I am not ashame of that. I guess I really don't like undecisive ppl. Or should I say ppl who have decided what to do, but don't dare to do.

Probably as a friend of mine. You should stop asking me how I feel and why this happen le. Just intro me more boys ok? Thanks!

I've got myself a B/F application form and a Break up evaluation form.

Fill that up if it's applicable for you. Thanks ~

Oh ya I fell sick. Pls sayang me abit more this period.

B/F Application form

1. Name -

2. Age -

3. D.O.B -

4. Horoscope -

5. Why do you want to fill this out? -

6. Why would you date me? -

7. Would you break my heart? -

8. Would you care if I was complicated? -

9. Would you play hard to get? -

10. Would you run off with me at random times? -

11. What would you do to get my attention? -

12. What do you think of me? (1 good point and 1 bad point) -

13. Do you fall in love easier than most? -

14. What do you spend most of your time doing? -

15. Do you do drugs or drink? -

16. Do you play video games? -

17. Do you enjoy kissing and being romantic? -

18. Would you love me for ME? -

19. Would you make any suggestions of things i should change about myself? -

20. Tell me one thing you would change about me! -

21. Favorite music? -

22. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? -

23. Do you live up to your first impression? -

24. When was your last serious relationship? -

25. Reason(s) of breaking up -

26. How do you feel about it now? -

27. Do you still contact with her? -

28. Number of sex partner -

29. Did you lie on any part of this? -

30. Anything you would like to add -

Break up evaluation form

1. Name -

2. Age -

3. D.O.B -

4. Horoscope -

5. Break up date -

6. Dating Duration -

7. Reason(s) of breaking up -

8. Is there another girl? (If yes pls answer 9 to 13; if not pls jump to 14)-

9. Her name -

10. Her age -

11. When you met her? -

12. Why her? -

13. Dating Duration -

14. Why would you date me last time? -

15. Why will you break my heart? -

16. What do you think about me as your gf? (1 good point and 1 bad point) -

17. What do you enjoy the most when we are dating? -

18. What do you dislike the most when we are dating? -

19. Do you prefer me to be an idiot or am i an idiot to you? -

20. Would you make any suggestions of things i should change about myself?

21. Am I a good gf? (Rate 1 to 10, 1 being the worst and 10 being the best) -

22. Would you like me to cry and make you stay? -

23. Do you still want to be friend with me? -

24. What would you do if you see me again on street? -

25. Did i fulfil the responsibility of being a gf? -

26. What would you feel if i start dating again with another guy? -

27. Would you get me back if you have a chance?

28. Are you ashamed of me being your ex-gf?

29. Did you lie on any part of this? -

30. Anything you would like to add -

Songs.

2006-08-19T23:30:00.000+09:30

Songs.

Do any songs remind you of anyone?

Let's start with me...

1. Ekin Cheng - 一生爱你一个 (Yi Sheng Ai Ni Yi Ge)

- It's a guy I can never forget in this life. That's his fav song. Whenever I think abt him, my heart hurt abit. We don't contact anymore, but over times, I do ask his friend how is he doing etc.

Ppl do ask, if there is a chance, do I wanna to get back witih him. I said no. I don't want. That kind of pain is a fracture between us. It's gonna be there, a scar in my heart. I fucking don't wanna to go back to those life. Even if, I still love him abit.

2. Adam Sandler - I Wanna Grow Old With You

- Someone wrote the whole song and sms me be4. That was damn sweet! Haha. To find a husband that will do all these stated in the song, is impossible. If any guy reading this is one, pls tell me. I will woo you. Lol.

3. Lee Hom - Forever Love

- Jason used to sing that for me to hear everytime we went to KTV. Till a day, he said, there is no forever love in this world. From then on, he seldom sing that song again. Hmm.. I guess that's quite right.

Forever Love, means 2 person never get together, and that feelings is kept in their heart till they die. Ya forever, remain unchange and nv turn ugly. Memories are always good, nv turn bad. No expiry date. Lmao.

4. Stefanie - 遇见 (Yu Jian)

- Let me think of a guy who I went with to watch the Movie - Turn Left, Turn Right.

Suppose to be sweet, but, it turn out to be a joke.

I was slightly late, when I saw him and walked towards him, I kicked the banner and fell down directly in front of him, at the ticket booth. Hahaha! You know the posture of praying god in temple? That is it.

5. Atomic Kitten - Cradle

- Reminds me of a guy I like be4. The song was the feeling I have in me for him. But, what's in between us, was my best friend at that moment. Anyway, I lost both of them at the same time. This teaches me, when it's the time, make that damn decision to keep 1 and dump 1.

6. Lin Jun Jie - 会有那么一天 (Hui You Na Me Yi Tian) / 莎士比亚的天份 (Shakespear de Tian Fen)

- I've got an ex-bf who have vocal that ensemble Lin Jun Jie. I loves when he sing to me. Shakespear is one of the song he sang to me when I whine to him.

Hui You Na Me Yi Tian is the song he sang for me when we together after 1 month. Haa. He got practise o! I still love guy who will sing to me.

Funny thing is after we broke up more than 3 months, still got ppl don't know abt it. Maybe we're kinda too perfect couple in ppl's eyes. Nobody have thought that we would break up.

7. Luo Zhi Xiang - 呛司呛司 (Chance Chance)

- That's the 1st song my current bf sent me when we start dating. Kinda nice. My bf always tell me, he won't let me have hard life next time if I marry him. I love Sweet talks. Lol. Pls tell more =x

Habits.

2006-08-18T18:10:00.000+09:30

Habits.

Ever realised that after spending some time with someone, you will pick up some habit from the person?

Maybe food that you don't use to eat, and now you seems to enjoy it?

Or maybe clothes that you have never imagine yourself wearing it, and you kinda loves it now?

I recently just realised, whenever I go supermart buy necessities, I will definately go to the sampoo section, and open a bottle of Herbal Essence and smell it. Then put it back. Lol.

Basically I don't use it, also not gonna to buy it.

Then I start thinking, why would I do that?

Finally, I've gotten the answer! Jem, a guy I used to like, use that sampoo.

This makes me wonder, how many weird habits have I picked up from ppl over the years? and.. There are ALOTS!! Lol.

Memories.. Those are so sweett...

Did somebody pick up habit from me? Lol.
Tell me pls. I am so curious!!

I love you.

2006-08-12T13:01:00.000+09:30

I Love You.

Yes! I love all of you.

Everybody that is reading my blog. I love you! haha. All my friends, I love you all ~

I have no shame also not shy. No worries. I love to say I Love you ~

My problem solved le 70% ^^
Another 30% will see as time pass.. and that's good.

And.. after this matter.. I am so sure that I am loved by alot of my friends.. Those are my precious in my life.. I love you all!

I'm overall.. damn xing fu!

Dropping 1st?

2006-08-07T21:02:00.000+09:30

Dropping 1st.

Been talking to meat leg yesterday.

He told me that, if you sense something wrong with the r/s, you should do something in advanced. Meaning, break up 1st rather than being dumped. So, you won't feel that hurt.

But, I just wonder alot.. Is that true? I guess what finally left with me is only my "face".
To me, I think the degree of pain is the same. If I voice out 1st, means I'm just gonna to give up w/o trying wor. Next time will regret isn't? If kanna dumped, at least I won't have the regret feel ma.

Maybe is just a small problem...

This is not within my control.
Is not like, when I know that my result is poor, I can be more hardworking.
Is not like, when I'm poor, I can work more hours to earn.
Is not like, when I'm sleepy, I can sleep more to not feeling tired.

What I can offer, is the freedom to choose what you really want and will feel happy about it, without bothering you and fill you with guilts.

Maybe it's also time for me to think about it.

"I don't wan to fall asleep alone, but do I want to wake up with you?" - Beautiful Mistake.

I'm being too cool and that's weird...

Craps.

2006-08-05T21:39:00.000+09:30

Craps.

Recently got too much time to think craps.. So I wonder alot...

What kind of person really am I?

1. I can separate Love and Sex. They aren't the same. Love is a Treasure; Sex is just a need. So I don't need to be my boy only one, but I wanna to be his No.1.

2. No matter how bad a person treat me, if he/she is regards as my important person in the life, or once important in my life, I will take it. I can never do or say something harsh to them. I will still care alot.

3. I always have my own thinking. When bad thing happened, I always know exactly what I'm gonna to do. I don't need comments. I will only tell my problems to afew of ppl.

4. I don't believe in wasting time. When a r/s ended, I won't spend alot of time being sad. After all, I don't think I can stay alone till I grow old and die, so I will still get another guy eventually. Why wait then?

5. I desire for a good and bright future and I'm always working towards it. I can totally picture myself in the next 20 yrs. I love plans not adventure.

6. I love my boobs. If you say I big breast no brain, don't jealous coz ur gf don't have my cup size. I totally don't believe got normal guys will like flat breast. Nah.

7. Do I really prefer guys that are younger than me? This question been asked by my friend alot. Basically, I don't mind older guys too. But there just isn't much around me. Either they are married/attached, or gay, or treat me as boy. What I can do? Haha.

8. Perhaps.. What I really need is Just that 10 seconds in your 10 minutes.

Love History.

2006-06-18T22:16:00.000+09:30

Love History.

How ppl define ex-stead?

1. Must be both also in love. Officially together when 1 party ask "Be mY girl.", another party say "Ok!"?

2. Officially together but break up after 3 days. In this case, maybe not much love to talk abt.

3. Is fling included? In this case, no much love too.

4. Not officially together, but have done all couple thingy. In this case, got abit of love.

5. Together with a guy that got a girlfriend or together with a guy haven't break clear with his ex-gf. Lol.

Is it really necessary to tell your new/current bf about your love history?

Basically, when ppl ask abt my love history, it become a very difficult question for me to answer. Does that apply to everybody else too?

Geez. Maybe I'm a person who believe in giving a chance. So in the end, i portray a flirt image. But, if you never try out, you won't know isn't?

Now let me count...

Case 1: Only happens 4 times.

First time, super hurt, I ever thought we would be. We were best friend for 3 yrs then together. With him 1 months only, but alot memory la. No longer contact.

Second time, his mother dislike me like hell, very tired, then in the end I tell him I fall in love with another guy (which in the end I really did but at the beginning is just an excuse). Together half a yr. No longer contact too.

Third time, I'm not sure. I treasure him alot. We broke up in harmony. Together 3 months. Still very much like last time except talk abit lesser. Hmm. If there is a chance, I want to be with him again.

Fouth time, which is Now. I'm still with my boy. Until this stage, my mind set changed alot I guess. I no longer give alot of love to ppl, but the best love I can give. Still counting, 1 month le xD

Case 2: Maybe 8 to 9 times. Can't really confirm. Some is both also like each other, but then, condition not allow I guess. Range from 1 day to 3 weeks. Except a few no longer contact, still quite good with almost all.

Case 3: Cannot count at all coz already forgotten alot of them. Maybe 1 day I see them on street also won't recognise le. Lmao. Coz some is I try go out with them, but I don't think so, then they continue woo me, then I dodge away lo. Maximum, last 2 dates. Almost all also never contact liao.

Case 4: Only 1. That's the guy who I eventually fall in love to but we didn't get together. If you are clever, you will know who is he haha. Still in contact.

Case 5: Only 1. He is a jerk. The ex-gf also 1 kind. They should be together forever. Lol. I don't contact him le but he still sometimes contact me. P/s He still owe me alot money.

That's mY Love history. If you ask how many boyfriend I've be4, probably, I will answer 3. Haha.

Plans

2006-06-10T19:48:00.000+09:30

Plans.

Talking abt future.

At the age of 11, I made my decision, I want to be a person who makes medicine since there are so many ppl wanna be doctor. However, patient can't be cured with just doctor and w/o medicine isn't? Haha.

At the age of 14, I made my decision that I want to go Polytechnics. When grad from poly, I will go overseas to continue my studies.

At the age of 19, I made my decision that at the age of 45, I wanna to own a restaurant. Given a time frame of 10 yrs of learning to run business, at the age of 55 when I retired, I can be a successful small lady boss rather than go Macdonald collect trays. Unless of coz, if Macdonald pay more than my restaurant earn, I go collect trays. LOL!

Damn. My life is all abt plan plan plan and work for it. Lol.

Is this not good?

I'm still on my path. I'm at my age of 20+, I'm studying Medical & Pharmaceutical Biotechnology in UniSA.

I can see my future damn bright.

What's wrong?

You got dim future is not my fault.

Between the 2.

2006-05-24T20:33:00.000+09:30

Between the 2.

Which do you choose?
The guy you love or the guy who love you?

"I maybe happier if I got you."

A small story for everyone...

Tree
The reason I'm called tree is because I'm good at painting trees. Overtime I start to use a tree on the right hand corner as a trademark for all my watercolors painting.

I have dated 5 gals when I was in Pre-U. There's one gal who I love a lot but never dare go after her.

She doesn't have a pretty face, doesn't have a good figure, doesn't have outstanding charm. She is just a very ordinary gal.

I like her. I really like her. Like her innocent, like her frankness. Like her cuteness, like her intelligence and her fragility.

Reason for not going after her is because I felt somebody so ordinary like her is not a good match for me. I'm also afraid that after we are together all the good feelings will vanish. I'm also afraid other's gossips will hurt her.

I felt that if she's my gal, she will be mine ultimately & I don't have to give up everything just for her. The last reason, made her accompany me for 3 years.
She watch me chase after gals, and I have make her heart cry for 3 years. She wants to be a good actress and I'm a very demanding director.

When I kissed my 2nd girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smile & say "Go on!" before running off. The next day, her eyes was swollen like a walnut. I purposely didn't want to think about what causes her to cry but laugh at her the whole day.

When everybody go back home, she was alone crying in the classroom. She didn't know that I returned from soccer training to get something. I watch her cry for an hour or so.

My 4th girlfriend didn't like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that based on her character she's not the type that will start off the quarrel. But I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her and her eyes was filled with shock. I didn't care about her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend.

The next day, she still laugh & joke with me like nothing has ever happened. I know that she's very hurt but she didn't know that my heart ache is as bad as hers.

When I broke up with my 5th girlfriend, I asked her out. After going out for a day, I told her that I have something to tell her. She told me that coincidentally, she has something to tell me too. I told her about my break up and she told me about her getting together. I know who's the guy. He has been going after her for quite a while.

A very cute guy full of energy, lively and interesting. His pursuit for her has been the talk of the school.

I can't show her my heart ache but could only smile & congratulate her. When I reach home, the heart ache is so strong that I can't stand it. It's like a heavy weighted stone on my chest. I couldn't breathe. Wanted to shout but can't.

Tears rolled down I broke down & cry. How many times have I seen her cry for the man that doesn't acknowledge her presence too.

During graduation, I read a sms in my hp. It was send 10 days ago when I broke down and cry. I haven't read it since then.

It says "Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay"

Leaf
During Pre-U days, I like to collect leaves. Why?

Because I felt that for a leaf to leave the tree she has been relying on for so long it takes a lot of courage. During the 3 years of Pre-U I was on very close terms with a guy.

Not BGR kind but as buddy kind. But when he had his 1st girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. The sourness in the heart can't be describe by using a lemon. It's like 100 rotten sour lemon. Sourness to the extreme limit.

They were only together for 2 mths. When they broke up, I hide my strong sense of happiness. But after a mth, he got together with another gal. I like him & I know he like me. But why won't he pursue me? Since he love me why he doesn't want to make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. Time after time, my heart was hurt.

I begin to suspect that this is a one sided love. If he don't like he, why does he treat me so well. It's beyond what you will normally do for a friend. Liking a person is very heart wrenching. I can know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I can never figure out.

You can't expect me a gal to ask him right? Despite that, I still want to be by his side. Care for him, accompany him, love him. Hoping that one fine day, he will come & love me. It's like waiting for his phone call every night, wanting him to send me sms. I know that no matter how busy he is, he will make time for me. Because of this, I waited for him.

The 3 years were the hardest to go through & I really want to give up. Sometimes, I wonder should I continue waiting.

The pain and hurt, the dilemma accompany me for 3 years. Till the end of my 3rd year, a 2nd year junior begins to go after me. Everyday he pursuit me relentlessly. From outright rejection to a point in time when I felt that I'm willing to let him have a small footing in my heart. He's like a warm, gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf away from the tree.

In the end, I realized that I didn't want to give this wind a small footing in my heart. I know this wind will bring this badly battered leave far away to a better land.

Finally I left tree, but the tree only smile & didn't ask me to stay.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.

Wind
Because I like a gal called leaf. Because she's so dependent on tree so I have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away. When I first met her, it was 1 mth after I transfer to the new school.

I saw a petite person looking at my seniors & me playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends looking at him. When he talks with gals, there's jealousy in her eyes. When he looked at her, there's a smile in her eyes.

Looking at her became my habit. Just like she likes to look at him.

One day, she didn't appear. I felt something amissed. I can't explain the feeling except it's a kind of uneasiness.

The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her.

Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accept the note.

The next day, she appeared & pass me a note and left. Leaf's heart is too heavy and wind couldn't blow her away It's not that leaf heart is too heavy. It's because leaf never want to leave tree.

I replied her note with this statement and slowly she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls.

I know that the person she loves is not me. But I have this perseverance that one day I will make her like me.

Within 4 mths, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will divert away from the topic. But I never give up. If I decide I want her to be mine, I will definitely use all means to win her over.I can't remember how many times I have declared my love to her.
Although I know she will try to divert but I still bear a small ray of hope.

Hoping that she will agree to me my girlfriend. I didn't hear any reply from her over the phone. I asked "what are you doing? How come you didn't want to reply?" She said, "I'm nodding my head". "Ah?" I couldn't believe my ears.

"I'm nodding my head" She replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi and rush to her place & press her door bell.

During the moment when she opens the door. I hugged her tightly.

Leaf departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn't ask her to stay.